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How to apply the safety to your Emotional Triggers March 19, 2015

Centering Awareness on the mind and body Grounding through Relaxation or Mindfulness Flip the switch to more Helpful Self-Talk Reconciling the trigger with Communication   Who doesn’t have emotional triggers? I know I get bent out of shape when someone on the freeway doesn’t let me in and when someone is driving too slow and when I feel disrespected or undervalued. Awareness of our emotional triggers can be helpful in order to gain an increased internal locus of control and…

From False Ego to Authentic Self March 11, 2015

Many of us live by rule of our false egos. In order to fit in with our families, social groups, and institutions we learn to wear a mask as we grow and develop. For some, the mask is never taken off to allow us to get to know who we truly are and how we truly want to be; to transform into our authentic selves. We hustle and bustle about with life’s daily challenges, too busy to stop and take…

Misguided Self-Love March 5, 2015

What is self-love really? Let’s start by highlighting what it is not. Self-love is not egotistical nor narcissistic. It is not selfish or uncaring. Self-love is quite the opposite. Self-love is knowing our strengths, our limitations, our triggers, and how best to cope and care for ourselves among life’s challenges. Self-love is accepting ourselves and respectfully behaving or communicating in such a way as to honor our personal needs. All too common, and in a variety of ways, we tend…

4 Steps to Mental Flexibility February 19, 2015

A hallmark of good mental health is mental flexibility. Mental flexibility is being able to roll with the punches, not being too rigid in our opinions of the way things ought to be or how others should act allows for less emotional reactivity, less upset feelings, and less judgment of ourselves, our behaviors, and others. Being too rigid is also known as being aggressive, opinionated, or pushy. On the flip side, too much mental flexibility can be problematic as well. Being…

Blame Looks Backwards, Responsibility Looks Forwards February 10, 2015

After an argument or disagreement it helps to remember that blame is looking backwards while responsibility is looking forwards. To get over the argument and get back on solid ground it takes two people to have the courage to move away from blame; to claim responsibility for their actions and emotional reactions. It’s at the heart of healthy communication to be able to identify and state your feelings, needs, wants, and desires respectfully and to hear the other person in…

Worry is waiting for a Decision January 29, 2015

When one worries are they engaged in careful thought? Are they attempting to find a conclusion or resolution through worry? That might be the intention but in actuality most often worry is postponing a decision. Worrying does not utilize the skills of consideration thus does not allow for careful thought leading to conclusion or resolution. Though when a worried individual is asked why they worry, usually the answer will be connected to the idea of desiring a resolution to a…

Trust and Vulnerability January 6, 2015

Two key ingredients in healthy relationships are trust and vulnerability. The two go hand in hand but when someone has been hurt, it can be hard to regain trust or show vulnerability. Trust seems to get more air time than vulnerability probably because it’s easier to say “I trust you” while keeping one eye open. Vulnerability on the other hand is something more intimately shown or displayed through behavior to back up the words of trust given. Showing vulnerability can…

Expectations December 16, 2014

Our expectations have a lot to do with how we will experience family gatherings for special occasions such as the holidays, weddings, or birthdays. We’ve had a lot of practice building up those expectations over time with our loved, and sometimes frustrating, ones. We have to remember that we are not the same people we were as we learned what to expect from them. The history is rich with examples as justification and so is the choice to release or…

To Medicate or not to Medicate December 12, 2014

How does one decide to medicate themselves or their child when other professionals are recommending they do so? Currently, many people go in search for alternatives to medications due to side effects, worry of long-term effects, or stigma –especially where psychiatric medications are concerned. And we are all acutely aware of the pharmaceutical industry’s push towards medicating any and all discomforts or ailments for us and our children. It sure can be simpler to take a pill, as opposed to…

Relationships are our feedback loop for change November 17, 2014

All of our relationships have constructed our view of ourselves and how we make sense of our world from the day we were born onward. As children and adults we all crave connection and communion with others as a basic need. We all experience stress and negative events in our lives, often at the hands of our relationships. We all learn how to cope and communicate through our relationships in positive and negative ways. Understanding this, it should be no…

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