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4 Steps to Mental Flexibility February 19, 2015

A hallmark of good mental health is mental flexibility. Mental flexibility is being able to roll with the punches, not being too rigid in our opinions of the way things ought to be or how others should act allows for less emotional reactivity, less upset feelings, and less judgment of ourselves, our behaviors, and others. Being too rigid is also known as being aggressive, opinionated, or pushy. On the flip side, too much mental flexibility can be problematic as well. Being…

Blame Looks Backwards, Responsibility Looks Forwards February 10, 2015

After an argument or disagreement it helps to remember that blame is looking backwards while responsibility is looking forwards. To get over the argument and get back on solid ground it takes two people to have the courage to move away from blame; to claim responsibility for their actions and emotional reactions. It’s at the heart of healthy communication to be able to identify and state your feelings, needs, wants, and desires respectfully and to hear the other person in…

Relationships are our feedback loop for change November 17, 2014

All of our relationships have constructed our view of ourselves and how we make sense of our world from the day we were born onward. As children and adults we all crave connection and communion with others as a basic need. We all experience stress and negative events in our lives, often at the hands of our relationships. We all learn how to cope and communicate through our relationships in positive and negative ways. Understanding this, it should be no…

What is emotional freedom and why do you want it? October 23, 2014

Emotions have a purpose. They are meant to support us… Support us in making decisions, serve us to learn from our mistakes, and help us to connect with others. They also desire to be expressed so they can come and go freely. Sometimes we get stuck in negative emotions and attempt to avoid or escape them. This only gives them more power to infect our lives. We might gain a few moments of peace by sweeping them under the rug…

Moving From Black and White Thinking to Shades of Gray October 6, 2014

There are many limits to thinking only in black and white terms. It can impact one’s mood, can limit personal choices and opportunities, damage relationships, and ultimately create suffering for the user and others around them. Black and white thinking limits one’s ability to have “win, win” experiences or exchanges. It also limits opportunities for learning from mistakes. In the mind of the black and white thinker there must be a definitive winner and loser in most situations. When one sees…

3 Methods to Silence the Story In the Head September 29, 2014

Do you ever get caught up in your own story? Yeah, me too. Everyone is familiar with “the story in the head”. The constant chatter in our minds that can look for and find problems, worries, anxieties, judgments, etc… Sometimes the story is dead on and sometimes it is dead wrong. The story can be endless and can hijack our moods. One minute we can be in a great mood, carefree and happy, and then someone annoys or frustrates us,…

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