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Oneness and Independent Individuality in Tandem June 3, 2015

Have you ever heard of the concept of oneness? From a molecular and spiritual perspective, oneness can be understood as: we are all made of the same stuff with the same basic needs, wants, and desires. We crave connection with other people and we tend to benefit from some of our relationships in attempts to sustain our lives and happiness. The concept of oneness helps to recognize that we are all connected, as is every living being or thing, including…

Loving the Emotionally Unavailable March 25, 2015

Emotional unavailability in a relationship can be a sign of many things. Could mean a person needs some distance due to some other taxing concern or problem, could be that they’ve always been this way due to never being shown how or being too wounded to go there, could be that they are emotionally involved with someone else—might even be with someone you both know, could be that you too are emotionally unavailable or placing your emotional availability with someone…

The Importance of the Therapeutic Relationship February 24, 2015

The therapeutic relationship is the second most influential factor in predicting successful outcomes. The number one factor is the client’s willingness and readiness to seek support. Within the therapeutic relationship exists a working alliance where a client presents their concerns and behaviors to a therapist while the therapist holds the relationship safely. With this working alliance a client can learn to develop tolerance for frustration (even in this relationship), build trust, and maintain the relationship in the presence of possible ruptures….

Worry is waiting for a Decision January 29, 2015

When one worries are they engaged in careful thought? Are they attempting to find a conclusion or resolution through worry? That might be the intention but in actuality most often worry is postponing a decision. Worrying does not utilize the skills of consideration thus does not allow for careful thought leading to conclusion or resolution. Though when a worried individual is asked why they worry, usually the answer will be connected to the idea of desiring a resolution to a…

Trust and Vulnerability January 6, 2015

Two key ingredients in healthy relationships are trust and vulnerability. The two go hand in hand but when someone has been hurt, it can be hard to regain trust or show vulnerability. Trust seems to get more air time than vulnerability probably because it’s easier to say “I trust you” while keeping one eye open. Vulnerability on the other hand is something more intimately shown or displayed through behavior to back up the words of trust given. Showing vulnerability can…

Expectations December 16, 2014

Our expectations have a lot to do with how we will experience family gatherings for special occasions such as the holidays, weddings, or birthdays. We’ve had a lot of practice building up those expectations over time with our loved, and sometimes frustrating, ones. We have to remember that we are not the same people we were as we learned what to expect from them. The history is rich with examples as justification and so is the choice to release or…

To Medicate or not to Medicate December 12, 2014

How does one decide to medicate themselves or their child when other professionals are recommending they do so? Currently, many people go in search for alternatives to medications due to side effects, worry of long-term effects, or stigma –especially where psychiatric medications are concerned. And we are all acutely aware of the pharmaceutical industry’s push towards medicating any and all discomforts or ailments for us and our children. It sure can be simpler to take a pill, as opposed to…

Relationships are our feedback loop for change November 17, 2014

All of our relationships have constructed our view of ourselves and how we make sense of our world from the day we were born onward. As children and adults we all crave connection and communion with others as a basic need. We all experience stress and negative events in our lives, often at the hands of our relationships. We all learn how to cope and communicate through our relationships in positive and negative ways. Understanding this, it should be no…

Communication User Error November 6, 2014

Communication is a team effort but not all people are considered equal in skill level or style. There has to be a communicator and a listener and they hopefully reciprocate respectfully with each other. Unfortunately, most of us were not taught how to be excellent communicators. Instead we fall back on what we know through our own experiences of getting our needs met which was influenced by how we grew up. We learned many communication patterns from our parents or caregivers by unconscious…

The High Road of Thought and Emotion October 31, 2014

Both the high and low roads of thought and emotion can get you where you want to go by nature of where you place your attention, focus, and energy… But is one road or path preferred over the other? When THINKING of our life’s path and daily dealings, our reality is 100% impacted by our thoughts and emotions (attention, focus, and energy). Thinking positively is fantastic but it can also create extremes in our emotions such as avoidance and denial of negative…

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