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Limitations as Strengths May 18, 2015

When people go about thinking and labeling their limitations they often begin by considering them from a place of self-judgment with negative feelings attached to them. What if I told you that our limitations can actually be our new strengths? Sounds crazy but when one identifies and accepts their limitations it can allow a shift to occur. You see with acceptance comes empowerment to do something differently. What once may have felt difficult suddenly becomes a window of opportunity. Learning…

Stop the stigma – we all can improve our mental health hygiene May 6, 2015

We as a society have advanced in many ways and in many fields, from new technologies to advances in the sciences, and improvements in medical and health care treatments…  Though in the mental health field, sometimes I feel that we are still in the dark ages due to the stigma that continues today. A stigma we need to rid ourselves of. Stigma defined is: a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person. The shear definition of…

Sitting in YOURself April 20, 2015

We tend to live outside of ourselves. We spend a lot of our time either projected behind ourselves in the past or in front of ourselves into the future. Picture that in your mind for a moment… You are walking in a park with a trailing transparent vision of yourself behind you. This vision of yourself follows you, it might hold you captive to your past, it might judge you, or criticize you. Now picture walking in that same park as you…

Naming Our Stories for Helpful Self-Talk April 7, 2015

The stories we live by in our minds can be helpful or unhelpful to our wellbeing. These stories may be based on reality but they also can exacerbate how we feel about our reality by what we are telling ourselves. The stories I am speaking of enlist and entail the self-critic, self-judgments, shaming, personalizing, shoulding, paranoia, negativity, worry, and internalization of what others do or don’t do. Identifying a personal, memorable, even humorous name for this story that encapsulates all…

How to apply the safety to your Emotional Triggers March 19, 2015

Centering Awareness on the mind and body Grounding through Relaxation or Mindfulness Flip the switch to more Helpful Self-Talk Reconciling the trigger with Communication   Who doesn’t have emotional triggers? I know I get bent out of shape when someone on the freeway doesn’t let me in and when someone is driving too slow and when I feel disrespected or undervalued. Awareness of our emotional triggers can be helpful in order to gain an increased internal locus of control and…

From False Ego to Authentic Self March 11, 2015

Many of us live by rule of our false egos. In order to fit in with our families, social groups, and institutions we learn to wear a mask as we grow and develop. For some, the mask is never taken off to allow us to get to know who we truly are and how we truly want to be; to transform into our authentic selves. We hustle and bustle about with life’s daily challenges, too busy to stop and take…

Misguided Self-Love March 5, 2015

What is self-love really? Let’s start by highlighting what it is not. Self-love is not egotistical nor narcissistic. It is not selfish or uncaring. Self-love is quite the opposite. Self-love is knowing our strengths, our limitations, our triggers, and how best to cope and care for ourselves among life’s challenges. Self-love is accepting ourselves and respectfully behaving or communicating in such a way as to honor our personal needs. All too common, and in a variety of ways, we tend…

4 Steps to Mental Flexibility February 19, 2015

A hallmark of good mental health is mental flexibility. Mental flexibility is being able to roll with the punches, not being too rigid in our opinions of the way things ought to be or how others should act allows for less emotional reactivity, less upset feelings, and less judgment of ourselves, our behaviors, and others. Being too rigid is also known as being aggressive, opinionated, or pushy. On the flip side, too much mental flexibility can be problematic as well. Being…

Worry is waiting for a Decision January 29, 2015

When one worries are they engaged in careful thought? Are they attempting to find a conclusion or resolution through worry? That might be the intention but in actuality most often worry is postponing a decision. Worrying does not utilize the skills of consideration thus does not allow for careful thought leading to conclusion or resolution. Though when a worried individual is asked why they worry, usually the answer will be connected to the idea of desiring a resolution to a…

Trust and Vulnerability January 6, 2015

Two key ingredients in healthy relationships are trust and vulnerability. The two go hand in hand but when someone has been hurt, it can be hard to regain trust or show vulnerability. Trust seems to get more air time than vulnerability probably because it’s easier to say “I trust you” while keeping one eye open. Vulnerability on the other hand is something more intimately shown or displayed through behavior to back up the words of trust given. Showing vulnerability can…

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