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Naming Our Stories for Helpful Self-Talk April 7, 2015

The stories we live by in our minds can be helpful or unhelpful to our wellbeing. These stories may be based on reality but they also can exacerbate how we feel about our reality by what we are telling ourselves. The stories I am speaking of enlist and entail the self-critic, self-judgments, shaming, personalizing, shoulding, paranoia, negativity, worry, and internalization of what others do or don’t do. Identifying a personal, memorable, even humorous name for this story that encapsulates all…

How to apply the safety to your Emotional Triggers March 19, 2015

Centering Awareness on the mind and body Grounding through Relaxation or Mindfulness Flip the switch to more Helpful Self-Talk Reconciling the trigger with Communication   Who doesn’t have emotional triggers? I know I get bent out of shape when someone on the freeway doesn’t let me in and when someone is driving too slow and when I feel disrespected or undervalued. Awareness of our emotional triggers can be helpful in order to gain an increased internal locus of control and…

Misguided Self-Love March 5, 2015

What is self-love really? Let’s start by highlighting what it is not. Self-love is not egotistical nor narcissistic. It is not selfish or uncaring. Self-love is quite the opposite. Self-love is knowing our strengths, our limitations, our triggers, and how best to cope and care for ourselves among life’s challenges. Self-love is accepting ourselves and respectfully behaving or communicating in such a way as to honor our personal needs. All too common, and in a variety of ways, we tend…

From Codependent to Interdependent December 3, 2014

Codependency can be synonymous to not living one’s own life in some aspects for both people in a dysfunctional relationship. Codependency is a learned behavior which is great because that means it can be replaced with new learning or relearning and behavior! Dependent people and enablers are really good at attracting each other, after all they have practiced codependency for quite a while by default. Codependency often renders one person failing to challenge themselves and the other person losing respect…

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