From False Ego to Authentic Self March 11, 2015

Many of us live by rule of our false egos. In order to fit in with our families, social groups, and institutions we learn to wear a mask as we grow and develop. For some, the mask is never taken off to allow us to get to know who we truly are and how we truly want to be; to transform into our authentic selves. We hustle and bustle about with life’s daily challenges, too busy to stop and take a look at ourselves, to see the person behind the mask. Unfortunately for some, loss and crisis are what bring a call to look deeper… To reveal to ourselves that which we’ve known on some level but not been able to see with much clarity. Going about our day by way of our false ego can leave us feeling empty, alone, and frightened.

 Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.

-Coco Chanel via Brainyquote

Who does the false ego serve if not ourselves? Our false ego lives to serve others around us at the expense of our authentic selves. It was born out of self-preservation to fit in but all too often it becomes our persona to show to the world and it risks our true desires from being known and fulfilled. Our false ego was the result derived when we didn’t have the developmental capacity to discern, more or less, what we want in our lives. As adults, bringing our true authentic selves out from behind the mask starts by acknowledging how our false egos are still conducting themselves today.

Noting how we move away from dishonesty with others and especially ourselves. Looking deeper at the impulse to “present” within the scope of what’s socially acceptable, expected, or admired when we feel our reality is different from this scope. Looking at how our aggression covers our fears and holds us hostage. Dancing with positive thinking when we really feel negatively. Avoiding or grappling with internal conflicts and unreconciled feelings, hurts, or wounds. These are all aspects of and connected to the false ego’s mask of “protection”. The moment one becomes aware of this false protection, suddenly new choices can emerge.

Finding a safe place to take the mask off and explore our authentic selves is extremely courageous and truly admirable. Our authentic selves burst with positive qualities, strengths, and talents unrealized. The real self shines through, overcomes odds, and empowers us and others from a place of authenticity. The struggle once felt and kept alive by our false egos can become the roots of our success both personally and professionally.

Why not begin removing the mask today when you can see that you have a choice for a better life? Just like removing a Band-Aid, there will be some discomfort and that is why one would want a professional by their side to help support, pace, guide new coping strategies, and reconcile old wounds. Band-Aids lose their protective factors with age, just as our false ego mask keeps us from healing and growing… Make the choice to explore and become your authentic self today.

Aaron Foster

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