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Communication User Error November 6, 2014

Communication is a team effort but not all people are considered equal in skill level or style. There has to be a communicator and a listener and they hopefully reciprocate respectfully with each other. Unfortunately, most of us were not taught how to be excellent communicators. Instead we fall back on what we know through our own experiences of getting our needs met which was influenced by how we grew up. We learned many communication patterns from our parents or caregivers by unconscious…

The High Road of Thought and Emotion October 31, 2014

Both the high and low roads of thought and emotion can get you where you want to go by nature of where you place your attention, focus, and energy… But is one road or path preferred over the other? When THINKING of our life’s path and daily dealings, our reality is 100% impacted by our thoughts and emotions (attention, focus, and energy). Thinking positively is fantastic but it can also create extremes in our emotions such as avoidance and denial of negative…

What is emotional freedom and why do you want it? October 23, 2014

Emotions have a purpose. They are meant to support us… Support us in making decisions, serve us to learn from our mistakes, and help us to connect with others. They also desire to be expressed so they can come and go freely. Sometimes we get stuck in negative emotions and attempt to avoid or escape them. This only gives them more power to infect our lives. We might gain a few moments of peace by sweeping them under the rug…

Understanding Therapy | Counseling: The Content and The Process October 15, 2014

Therapy and counseling do not have to be a drudging through every detail of one’s past experiences. In fact, if a client, or couple, are motivated and willing to explore their painful patterns and accept their behaviors contributing to problems, the work can be faster than one thinks. The beauty of therapy and counseling is that we are always offered opportunity to work through our past, in our present, which can feel like a series of aha moments allowing for…

Moving From Black and White Thinking to Shades of Gray October 6, 2014

There are many limits to thinking only in black and white terms. It can impact one’s mood, can limit personal choices and opportunities, damage relationships, and ultimately create suffering for the user and others around them. Black and white thinking limits one’s ability to have “win, win” experiences or exchanges. It also limits opportunities for learning from mistakes. In the mind of the black and white thinker there must be a definitive winner and loser in most situations. When one sees…

3 Methods to Silence the Story In the Head September 29, 2014

Do you ever get caught up in your own story? Yeah, me too. Everyone is familiar with “the story in the head”. The constant chatter in our minds that can look for and find problems, worries, anxieties, judgments, etc… Sometimes the story is dead on and sometimes it is dead wrong. The story can be endless and can hijack our moods. One minute we can be in a great mood, carefree and happy, and then someone annoys or frustrates us,…

Self-Sabotage September 18, 2014

What is Self-Sabotage? Self-Sabotage is the tendency to engage in self-limiting, sometimes impulsive, risky, or fear based behaviors. These behaviors can alter outcomes in order to validate negative thoughts and deep seated negative beliefs. An example of a negative thought and belief might be “I knew it wouldn’t work out for me. It never does”. On an unconscious level the belief and behaviors of self-sabotage help to thwart circumstances leading to desirable and favorable outcomes. Self-sabotage can be understood as a…

Depression September 15, 2014

Many people suffer from depressive episodes (periods of time) as an often normal response to negative life events. When depression lasts for more than two weeks or comes and goes at a deep level, one can feel STUCK and hopeless. When people are suffering from Major Depression they feel numb to life, derive little to no pleasure, are irritable, may have physical complaints, poor sleep and eating, and can be overwhelmed by daily life tasks along with dark thoughts that…

Anxiety September 11, 2014

Anxiety can be debilitating. It is a feeling of fear, unease, and worry. It can keep us up all night and cause us to be distracted during the day. What causes anxiety is almost always our thoughts that trigger these feelings of unease. Sometimes though, anxiety can hijack us out of what appears to be know where. A simple intervention to reduce anxiety is focusing on your breathing but also self-affirming your presence. You see anxiety is associated with the…

Blog Coming Soon! September 11, 2014

As a therapist who has studied relationships, I prefer not to get too hung up on diagnosis outside of supporting education and understanding, and I treat the person’s or family’s difficulties, whatever they may be, from strength-based and skills-application approaches. I want to circumvent labels that can create shame or victimization. I find it more effective to re-label personal needs that must be addressed in order to solve problems. My practice is holistic in nature, pulling from what research supports…

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