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4 Steps to Mental Flexibility February 19, 2015

A hallmark of good mental health is mental flexibility. Mental flexibility is being able to roll with the punches, not being too rigid in our opinions of the way things ought to be or how others should act allows for less emotional reactivity, less upset feelings, and less judgment of ourselves, our behaviors, and others. Being too rigid is also known as being aggressive, opinionated, or pushy. On the flip side, too much mental flexibility can be problematic as well. Being…

Blame Looks Backwards, Responsibility Looks Forwards February 10, 2015

After an argument or disagreement it helps to remember that blame is looking backwards while responsibility is looking forwards. To get over the argument and get back on solid ground it takes two people to have the courage to move away from blame; to claim responsibility for their actions and emotional reactions. It’s at the heart of healthy communication to be able to identify and state your feelings, needs, wants, and desires respectfully and to hear the other person in…

Worry is waiting for a Decision January 29, 2015

When one worries are they engaged in careful thought? Are they attempting to find a conclusion or resolution through worry? That might be the intention but in actuality most often worry is postponing a decision. Worrying does not utilize the skills of consideration thus does not allow for careful thought leading to conclusion or resolution. Though when a worried individual is asked why they worry, usually the answer will be connected to the idea of desiring a resolution to a…

For the Sake of Joy January 21, 2015

Wouldn’t it be phenomenal if we could all experience some joy daily? I mean real joy… The kind of joy that lights up and creates momentum throughout your entire day; maybe even brings a touch of silliness to your mood. According to dictionary.com one definition of joy is: a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated. This definition implies external factors influencing internal factors. Could it be possible that we could feel…

Trust and Vulnerability January 6, 2015

Two key ingredients in healthy relationships are trust and vulnerability. The two go hand in hand but when someone has been hurt, it can be hard to regain trust or show vulnerability. Trust seems to get more air time than vulnerability probably because it’s easier to say “I trust you” while keeping one eye open. Vulnerability on the other hand is something more intimately shown or displayed through behavior to back up the words of trust given. Showing vulnerability can…

Expectations December 16, 2014

Our expectations have a lot to do with how we will experience family gatherings for special occasions such as the holidays, weddings, or birthdays. We’ve had a lot of practice building up those expectations over time with our loved, and sometimes frustrating, ones. We have to remember that we are not the same people we were as we learned what to expect from them. The history is rich with examples as justification and so is the choice to release or…

To medicate or not to medicate December 12, 2014

How does one decide to medicate themselves or their child when other professionals are recommending they do so? Currently, many people go in search for alternatives to medications due to side effects, worry of long-term effects, or stigma –especially where psychiatric medications are concerned. And we are all acutely aware of the pharmaceutical industry’s push towards medicating any and all discomforts or ailments for us and our children. It sure can be simpler to take a pill, as opposed to…

From Codependent to Interdependent December 3, 2014

Codependency can be synonymous to not living one’s own life in some aspects for both people in a dysfunctional relationship. Codependency is a learned behavior which is great because that means it can be replaced with new learning or relearning and behavior! Dependent people and enablers are really good at attracting each other, after all they have practiced codependency for quite a while by default. Codependency often renders one person failing to challenge themselves and the other person losing respect…

The Reality of Neuroses November 25, 2014

Many people can relate to feeling neurotic from time to time. Some experience it only in certain phobic type situations while others can experience true pervasiveness. Neuroticism is the tendency to experience negative emotions, feel threatened and have intense reactivity to what most would consider minor situations, and often it can take a longer time to regulate emotions. This type of emotional instability can become quite a burden and diminish one’s ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with…

Relationships are our feedback loop for change November 17, 2014

All of our relationships have constructed our view of ourselves and how we make sense of our world from the day we were born onward. As children and adults we all crave connection and communion with others as a basic need. We all experience stress and negative events in our lives, often at the hands of our relationships. We all learn how to cope and communicate through our relationships in positive and negative ways. Understanding this, it should be no…

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